So wierd how things manage to catch up with you. Spring always reminds me of my mum. It's a time of year that she loved....the smell of fresh cut grass really brought her back to me today.
I've just had a bath (very relaxing with a glass of wine and candles!) and I was continuing to read the book that I have advertised on the sidebar-Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge and it was talking about her relationship with her mother and the way in which God brought restoration to that before her mum died. I was just overwhelmed by this sense of loss. April 21st means nothing in the context of anniversaries or birthdays in regards to my mum but today was just one of those days where it seems to have caught up with me. I was just so sad for this life that had been cut short (she died 10 and 1/2 years ago aged 48) and the marriage that was cut short. I was upset to think of the years wasted by me on my relationship with her when she was alive due to me being a petulant teenager and for the times that she hasn't been around: my driving test, University, America, graduation. But what was great, though there was that sense of 'why God, I still don't understand' and 'I don't know where she is now as I don't know what type of relationship she had with you' I was driven to pray ernestly for my Dad. I do not want to deliberate where another parent has gone, selfishly I want him to go to heaven but I also want him to start an awesome relationship with God now......it's pushed me into praying deeper for him . I suppose sometimes this is why God allows these moments to come.
Anyway don't know if any of these thoughts make sense, just thought I'd share them with my loved ones..........the picture on the top right is of mum and dad about 15 years ago......
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