So life's been a bit low lately........there's certain things that I've struggled with to do with family, singleness, expectations, loneliness, friendships, burn out, 'church' roles etc etc.........I went away to a camp run by Soul Survivor for students and 20-somethings and whereas I was looking forward to a nice relaxing time, it was a hot house and I felt like I'd gone 12 rounds in a boxing match by the end........I'd love to say that things have come up rosy and my self-esteem and self-confidence have picked up from it but sadly those things haven't happened.........most days I've just found myself crying out to God to give me the strength for that day.........and every day so far He's been faithful in that..........It's some how relishing the journey that you're on and the questions that you have and living life to the full inspite of not knowing the answers.........It's just tough when you think you're holding it together well and then someone that you don't know that well and don't share that many of your hopes, fears or thoughts with strikes right to the core of you as they say "Emma, I can see you're lonely"..........6 words that hit the mark of my heart at the moment.........
Anyway, not to throw too much of a pity party for myself!! ;- ) here are 2 things that have brought me happiness and comfort
The first is of course Seren. That is not to say that the other 2 don't bering me insane amounts of pleasure but I ony had a picture of her! She's over 6 weeks old now and absolutely beautiful with these big blue eyes.......Amanda just wishes that one of them would have the blond hair that she has!
The other is the house that I now live in.........it's taken some getting used to as I've had to stop living on the defensive as I previously was and instead now live in a place and believe that I'm truly accepted and welcomed there........this is taking some getting used to and isn't a resolved issue in me......but anyway the lady I'm staying with is an amazing gardener and seems to know everything about every plant and flower.....it's properties and uses......and things just seem to flourish.....it truly is amazing! These are some lillies that she bought, not knowing what type they were, have bloomed beautifully in the garden and I couldn't resist taking a picture of them......I should take more of the garden as this is only a taste.
